Good Girl Church Face

This was a hard post to write.

 Not because I had trouble thinking of things to say. No, just because my pride took a big hit. 

I was surfing through my posts on Facebook and I came across a quote by D. L Moody that rocked me to my core.

A man ought to live so that everyone knows he's a Christian...and most of all his family ought to know.

I love Jesus. Everyday I seek to know him more...some days I fail...like really fail. Some days are awesome. Regardless of if it's an awesome day or if it's a "I'll try again tomorrow" day I have this nasty habit. One of those ones you don't want to admit.

I have a this nasty habit of putting on my good girl church face the minuet I walk out the door...and taking it off the minuet I walk back in.

Do you know the one? 

The one where I'm the perfect mother, perfect wife, perfect friend, perfectly put together person. Yup that's the one. 

For some reason when I go out the door or talk to other people I have a habit of putting on my GGCF...well let's be honest it's not a habit, it's pride. 

PRIDE 

The thing I find keeps me from Jesus most. 

I have this fear of people knowing that I mess up, that I'm not perfect. That there are days that I fail.

With my family I have days I don't care,when I don't try. They are my family they're stuck with me and will always love me. Right? 

Truth, both of those are results of pride. 

I know when I am not vulnerable and authentic with people I can potentially be robbing them of seeing Jesus and the work he doing in my life.

When I don't take the proper time to get my self focused on the Lord, I rob my husband of a wife who's focused on loving him in a godly way, and I rob my children of a mom who is focused on patience and loving them so that they see Jesus. Which ultimately is the most important thing I will do with my life. 

Pride.

It mixes up my priorities. Thinking that it's more important how everyone else sees me then how my family does. 

It gets me believing that it's more important to look perfect then to be authentic. 

Our families deserve our best. 

I want my family to see a consistant authenticness in me. One that is vulnerable and open and is always trying to get better. Most of all I want them to be able to say that Jesus was always moms priority, public,at home, that's what she strived for, and she did it well.

How in the world do you get to that place? 

 Day in day out I'm still working on it with the grace of God, I'll let you know if I ever get there! 

Romans 12:2

Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.

Take time to think about that quote... Maybe ask the hard questions. 

A New Creation

I have been inspired!

Inspired may not be the right word...I have been filled with anger... Righteous anger, but anger non the less.

Sin...I hate it! 

I am not the same person I was five years ago. Heck, I'm not even the same person I was two years ago. I would even go as far as to say I'm not the same person I was six months ago. Feel me? 

We are continuously changing, growing, becoming more like God as we work day in and day out to know him more.

Two years ago if some one had told me I would be homeschooling my children, seeing a midwife for a home birth, becoming sugar free, I would have laughed in their face! 

But low and behold here I am. My views have changed, my personality has changed, even the friends I have have changed. 

So what's bugging me about all this change? 

No one sees it!!! 

Sin is like this icky black yuck that sticks to you and alters your life and the lives of people around you, unless you get rid of it. The longer you are stuck in it the more damage it does. 

Praise the Lord for Jesus and what he has done so I don't have to walk around feeling like I have icky black yuck all over me. It's so freeing to know you are free and don't have to be in bondage that has held you back for so long. 

So, I have Jesus. What do I have to complain about? 

I have been so burdened lately as I realize that even though I am free from sin and the things I have done in the past, people still see me as the person I was back then. They still respond to me as if I'm the same person as I was then. It makes me think. Am I really doing such a horrible job of showing Christ if people aren't seeing a change in me? 

Have you ever felt like that? Like everyone still sees you like you were instead of how you are now, and who your trying to be? It's stressful. 

You don't want to be consumed with pleasing people or getting people to like you but sometimes I just wanted to shout  from the roof.

CAN ANYBODY SEE ME??? 

Then God does this.

Luke 6:31

And as you wish that others would do to you, do so to them.

Do I look at others that way? Do I look at their heart and try and see the person behind whatever idea I have of them in my head? Or, do I go off of a past encounter with them? 

I don't. I judge people on their sin. On their past sin. On their mistakes and I forget that they have a heart that is changing and growing. 

#OUCH 

Everything we do with Christ is a day in day out work in progress. For me to look at people like Christ sees them will take me forever. To teach me to look at the heart. That also tells me that people seeing a change in me is going to be a day in day out thing. 

As much as I wish people knew me and my heart now. I know it won't happen over night. The only thing I can do is try to look at others with the compassion and the understanding that I would like people to give me. 

I can also take a great comfort in knowing that God sees it, the transformation that daily goes on in my heart. That when he looks at me I am a new creation. 

2 Corinthians 5:17 

Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come.

Mommy drama

I'm When I was a teenager I would dream about growing up and being an adult.

I'd dream about the fantastic marriage I would have to my incredibly hot husband (which is so true!) and the adorable children I would have. How I would have a cute little house where my kids could play, loads of mommy friends where I would have mommy dates and we would do awesome activities together.

Some how drama didn't fit into the picture of my happily ever after.

I think I figured "drama" would be left in high school. 

MAN could I have been more wrong. 

There is still drama, but it's been multiplied times two. The players are stealthier, more experienced and the steaks are higher because it often involves our kids or husbands.

How do we deal with it though?

Unfortunately as long as we are in contact with other people drama will show its ugly face every now and then. 

However there are things we can do though to limit the amount of drama in our lives.

A couple of years ago I was faced exactly with that question. 

WHAT CAN I DO ABOUT IT?

So I got my bible out and set to work. 

The conclusion I came to is....drum roll 

Have a battle plan! 

Since you can't escape drama you have to have a plan in place for dealing with it. 

Here is my battle plan I came up with. 

1. Look at their heart

Most times drama stems from bitterness, misinformation or hurt. Trying to understand how the other person is feeling can help you get to the root of the problem. Asking the Lord to help you see the WHY in it. Most times they are trying to get something across but don't know how to....result=drama. 

2. Take time to get your emotions under control and pray pray pray

Most of the time when we get involved with drama your first instinct is get angry and fight back. To protect ourselves. I have realized that one of the first things I need to do is step back, get my emotions under control instead of letting them control me. Then pray. Pray for the Holy Spirit to help me to handle it in a God honoring way and to help my anger and hurt. If I am to angry to pray, I go to some one else removed from the situation and get them to pray.

3. Choose your friends carefully

Proverbs 22:24-25 

Do not make friends with a hot tempered person, do not associate with one easily angered, or you may learn their ways and get yourself ensnared.

Proverbs 17:17A friend loves at all times and a brother is born for a time of adversity.

This is more a pre-battle strategy.First thing I did was go through my friends and ask the difficult questions. Do the people I consider friends line up with what the bible says a friend is? Were my friends people who desired to be in true relationship with me? One where we are honest and encourage,pray and uplift one another? Was our relationship healthy? Do they stick beside me in hard times? These hard questions where asked and I had to come to terms that some of the relationships I had in my life weren't healthy and drama kept popping up with that person and I knew those friendships  had to go. As a mother and a wife my time is limited and precious and I have no choice but to be intentional and picky with my time and where and who I give it to.

And no, that pre-battle stuff is not an easy one.

I believe God created us for true community with others. Where we can be  really honest with each other. When situations arise that could quickly turn into drama we sit down talk it out. Those friendships are worth the time and effort that is so precious to us as busy moms.

Food for thought...

Lastly though and the most important. Be the friend you would want. Be a person who seeks true friendship and practice the qualities daily. Because truth of the matter is you attract like minded people to you!