Sitting in bed chilling watching T.V last night, I was struck with a thought (that I wish would have come at like 8am instead of midnight since it kept me up for awhile thinking about it). In the show the character was given 6 months to live. All of a sudden she was doing all these outrageous and impulsive things the excuse was "I'm going to be dead soon, I want to really live."
It got me thinking...if I was given 6 months to live how would I want to spend my life?
The thought came at a good time to. As school fast approaches and activities start up again as moms lots of us are trying to write out our weekly schedules. When to get groceries, when to run the kids here or there. If your a homeschooler like me then you are trying to figure out what to teach and when. How to fit in family time, devotions, exercise and anything else you have decided to take on this coming fall.
It made me stop and think about how I would live my life if I knew that 6 months were all I had. What wouldn't make it on the schedule?
Well for one...my phone time would be strictly limited, making sure I didn't waste my time on petty Facebook arguments or ridiculous videos.
I would take the time to really sit and listen to my kids. Schedule time to specifically get to know their little hearts better and who they were created to be. That time would get changed for nothing.
I would make time to spend with the people who breath life into me.
I would spend every single second I had with my kids trying to teach them about the Love of Jesus because well, I would want them to have a good foundation.
I would make time for my husband. To love him and cherish him and put him first...that also would not be optional for change.
As I kept coming up with things I started to notice more and more that these things that I obviously held so dear to my heart...they were on the schedule the least.
I scheduled big chunks of time for things like house work and small chunks of time if any for date nights.
It made me realize that the things I am scheduling into my everyday life are good things...but they don't line up with the priorities that sit at the core of my being.
Life goes on...activities continue, we can't stop cleaning or lawn mowing and most of us aren't dying tomorrow or in six months...but all of us see how fast a week, or month or year flys by. Like come on, I swear I have been saying for 3 years "ya tomorrow I'm going to start exercising". Time flys and we are left saying "I wish I would have....."
I don't ever want to look back at these things I hold dear thinking "I always planned to....but it's to late now".
Trying to fit it all in is a huge job. But tonight I felt this was like God whispering to me, "take a minute and pray, I will help you get it right".
I know I have some praying to do and some scheduling to change!
Monday 22 August 2016
Wednesday 17 August 2016
Inside out
I had just finished a wonderful evening with wonderful ladies. We laughed, we got real, we took a break from life. It was grand....a breath of fresh air.
I got in the car, smile on my face thinking that was wonderful. Yet, there is this underlying sense of insecurity coming off the memories of the night.
Feeling like I'm in high school for thinking " oooh I wonder If I fit in" I pushed the thoughts away.
I was just getting my music all ready to jam out to on the way home when I got a text. It shook me up a bit and an insane need to be be angry, jealous and get revenge ripped through me.
I drove and as I'm driving I'm thinking about what I would "fake" say to this person if I could let loose. Or how i could get revenge...or just kind of stewing over it...over and over and over.
When I got home I walked in the door of my house....imagine with me for a second the red anger guy from inside out when he explodes, yup that was me.
Supper was still out on the table. Half of the perfectly good chicken wasted. I was ticked.
Anger...jealousy...revenge...
These emotions are ones we go through daily, and most of the time we just push them down and try to think positive.
Half the time I'm waiting for something big to throw me off my game with God....but the truth is its the little things. The everyday emotion we experience and push away. Its the thoughts we continue to entertain that are like rot to our souls.
It's that little spark of anger that keeps getting pushed down till it blows into a full blown adult tantrum, where words coming out of our mouth don't just hurt they destroy the people around us.
It's that thought that you don't fit in that eats away at your identity in Christ. Until it is not just a whisper anymore but a loud recorded voice on repeat.
It's that jealousy, that has you dreaming about the satisfaction of taking the other person down.
It's that voice that comes into your head when for the hundredth time supper is left out on the table...spouting lies that say this is how much your husband loves you, he doesn't care about anything you do in the house.
It's these things, the little everyday things that fester and grow like a disease in us. That work with all their might to pull us away from the beautiful truth and freedom and relationship that is found in Christ.
And the only reason they are able to do this is because we let them......we aren't on guard. We are so used to thinking and hearing and dealing with these thoughts and emotions that we don't know until it's to late and bitterness has set in that our eyes are opened....and it's a long journey back from bitterness.
Ephesians 6:12
12 For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms.
I got in the car, smile on my face thinking that was wonderful. Yet, there is this underlying sense of insecurity coming off the memories of the night.
Feeling like I'm in high school for thinking " oooh I wonder If I fit in" I pushed the thoughts away.
I was just getting my music all ready to jam out to on the way home when I got a text. It shook me up a bit and an insane need to be be angry, jealous and get revenge ripped through me.
I drove and as I'm driving I'm thinking about what I would "fake" say to this person if I could let loose. Or how i could get revenge...or just kind of stewing over it...over and over and over.
When I got home I walked in the door of my house....imagine with me for a second the red anger guy from inside out when he explodes, yup that was me.
Supper was still out on the table. Half of the perfectly good chicken wasted. I was ticked.
Anger...jealousy...revenge...
These emotions are ones we go through daily, and most of the time we just push them down and try to think positive.
Half the time I'm waiting for something big to throw me off my game with God....but the truth is its the little things. The everyday emotion we experience and push away. Its the thoughts we continue to entertain that are like rot to our souls.
It's that little spark of anger that keeps getting pushed down till it blows into a full blown adult tantrum, where words coming out of our mouth don't just hurt they destroy the people around us.
It's that thought that you don't fit in that eats away at your identity in Christ. Until it is not just a whisper anymore but a loud recorded voice on repeat.
It's that jealousy, that has you dreaming about the satisfaction of taking the other person down.
It's that voice that comes into your head when for the hundredth time supper is left out on the table...spouting lies that say this is how much your husband loves you, he doesn't care about anything you do in the house.
It's these things, the little everyday things that fester and grow like a disease in us. That work with all their might to pull us away from the beautiful truth and freedom and relationship that is found in Christ.
And the only reason they are able to do this is because we let them......we aren't on guard. We are so used to thinking and hearing and dealing with these thoughts and emotions that we don't know until it's to late and bitterness has set in that our eyes are opened....and it's a long journey back from bitterness.
Ephesians 6:12
12 For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms.
Tuesday 9 August 2016
The day I stopped parenting my children
I've decided to stop "parenting" my children.
I know, it's a crazy and outrageous idea.
But I. AM. DONE.
I came to a realization awhile back that changed my entire outlook on parenting. I'd like to tell you about it.
Have you ever been out and about with your kiddies and become angry or shocked or embarrassed by their behavior...if your a mother absolutely you have.
Or when you are at home and you see negativity coming out of your kids or attitude and you just want to scream...and some times we do.
Yup my life.
My kids are the most wonderful people I know, they are kind and thoughtful and loving...but those little suckers get my temperature bowling on a daily basis.
I have been noticing lately actions and attitudes in my 6 year old lately that have really been frustrating me. The way he sees himself, the anxiety he carries around, the entitlement.
As I was praying about what the heck to do with this situation a revelation dropped right in my lap
We were driving somewhere...late for something, and my four year old just says mommy can I pray and he prayed for our drive that we could get there safely and fast whole following the rules.
I was so proud, I never told him to do that, he just did.
Then it hit me. I do that...that's something I do constantly is pray randomly through out my day. I have never asked the kids to do it but it's something I always do. That transferred over to my kids...
You've heard of the saying "do as I say, not as I do"
I realized that's often how I try to parent.
Even with out knowing it, I try to correct my children's behaviors by words and explanations and reason. More often then not they don't remember it, it doesn't stick and I have to remind them over and over and over.
But my kids don't learn from reasoning and explanations. My kids learn through imitating, copying, mimicking.
I've always know that you are your kids greatest influence, but it is so much more then that. Before they learn to become their own person and reason and thinking deeply they pretty much become direct products of you and your spouse.
I was thinking well I don't throw a huge tantrum in the store throwing myself down and rolling around... God nudged me and said you sure?
When something goes wrong or I don't get what I want I totally throw my own grown up tantrum..it may not look like a kids tantrum but that's because I've learned to control my anger, where they haven't. Buuuuuuut they see me complaining either in the store or to my husband or even to my self in the car after and they mimic...they learn to handle anger and situations like I do with their own kid spin.
Realizing things like this has made me say I'm stopping lecturing and nagging at them to change their behaviors. They aren't the ones that need to learn...I am.
The more I correct the behaviors I see in them that I don't like in my self, things change. Things stick.
Once again the Lord has proved that everything he does is to help me grow, correct my character, push me closer to him.
Refining myself sets my children up for success. Learning to deal with anger better sets my children up to come out on top. Every word, every emotion, ever action shapes the foundation of who my children will be.
I am their mother and at the young age of 6, 4 and 1, they are a direct product of my character.
I am a mother. Who desperately leans on the grace of God to even breathe. The calling he has put on parents is one that demands nothing less.
But as I start on my new journey of parenting I have made a rule that I plan to live by. I will never correct my kids actions unless those very actions I am correcting in myself.
I know, it's a crazy and outrageous idea.
But I. AM. DONE.
I came to a realization awhile back that changed my entire outlook on parenting. I'd like to tell you about it.
Have you ever been out and about with your kiddies and become angry or shocked or embarrassed by their behavior...if your a mother absolutely you have.
Or when you are at home and you see negativity coming out of your kids or attitude and you just want to scream...and some times we do.
Yup my life.
My kids are the most wonderful people I know, they are kind and thoughtful and loving...but those little suckers get my temperature bowling on a daily basis.
I have been noticing lately actions and attitudes in my 6 year old lately that have really been frustrating me. The way he sees himself, the anxiety he carries around, the entitlement.
As I was praying about what the heck to do with this situation a revelation dropped right in my lap
We were driving somewhere...late for something, and my four year old just says mommy can I pray and he prayed for our drive that we could get there safely and fast whole following the rules.
I was so proud, I never told him to do that, he just did.
Then it hit me. I do that...that's something I do constantly is pray randomly through out my day. I have never asked the kids to do it but it's something I always do. That transferred over to my kids...
You've heard of the saying "do as I say, not as I do"
I realized that's often how I try to parent.
Even with out knowing it, I try to correct my children's behaviors by words and explanations and reason. More often then not they don't remember it, it doesn't stick and I have to remind them over and over and over.
But my kids don't learn from reasoning and explanations. My kids learn through imitating, copying, mimicking.
I've always know that you are your kids greatest influence, but it is so much more then that. Before they learn to become their own person and reason and thinking deeply they pretty much become direct products of you and your spouse.
I was thinking well I don't throw a huge tantrum in the store throwing myself down and rolling around... God nudged me and said you sure?
When something goes wrong or I don't get what I want I totally throw my own grown up tantrum..it may not look like a kids tantrum but that's because I've learned to control my anger, where they haven't. Buuuuuuut they see me complaining either in the store or to my husband or even to my self in the car after and they mimic...they learn to handle anger and situations like I do with their own kid spin.
Realizing things like this has made me say I'm stopping lecturing and nagging at them to change their behaviors. They aren't the ones that need to learn...I am.
The more I correct the behaviors I see in them that I don't like in my self, things change. Things stick.
Once again the Lord has proved that everything he does is to help me grow, correct my character, push me closer to him.
Refining myself sets my children up for success. Learning to deal with anger better sets my children up to come out on top. Every word, every emotion, ever action shapes the foundation of who my children will be.
I am their mother and at the young age of 6, 4 and 1, they are a direct product of my character.
I am a mother. Who desperately leans on the grace of God to even breathe. The calling he has put on parents is one that demands nothing less.
But as I start on my new journey of parenting I have made a rule that I plan to live by. I will never correct my kids actions unless those very actions I am correcting in myself.
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