This is real life

This has been a tough week. 

Ok. I'm lying this has been a tough couple of months for our family. 

So here it goes.

I was listening to the song Desert song by Hillsongs today and it reduced me to a puddle. 

Like seriously a sobbing mess of a women. 

Since the economy kinda crashed life has been hard for us. Financially and emotionally, mentally, spiritually...you name it. 

Watching my husband go through a time when work is really slow is hard. I see the stress it puts on him as a man to provide and the outcome  being completely out of his hands. 

Hard. 

Anyway I was listening to this song and the first and second verses just got to me 

"This is my prayer in the desert

when all that's with in me feels dry

This is my prayer 

In my hunger and need

My God is the God who provides.

This is my prayer in the fire

In weakness or trial or pain

There is a proved of more worth then gold so refine me Lord through the flames"

There are seasons in your life where you spend the entire time on your knees. 

Simply because thats the only thing you can do. 

It sucks.

I wish that I could say that God reaches down and makes everything Rosie again as soon as we cry out. However majority of the time he uses these situations to shape your character, your faith and draw us closer to him and equip us better for the things he has called you to do. In the end yes, you come out stronger and better then you were before but until then .......

Everything has been questioned and answers have been searched for. 

Forcing and causing me to put everything in his hands....

Somedays I don't even feel like I can pray. 

Other days I'm so fired up because I'm completely confident that God is going to do something big.

And other days I sit and question if he hears me at all. 

Total abandonment of my control, of my dreams and plans. 

Scares the crap out of me. 

In the midst of it all I had my 6 year old son come to me with a problem, a simple mundane problem. He was acting like the drama king he is....the sky was falling in his world. I just kinda smiled and explained the situation for him...not stepping in to fix it right now knowing that he needed to figure it out on his own. We prayed and he went on his way.

I love when he does that. 

When he comes to me knowing that mommy will always take care of him. I treasure those moments when he slows down and comes to me with his problems.

It hit me right then....I have heard it many times before but once again I was reminded that that is how God is with us. 

I draw closest to him when I'm in trouble and he cherishes those moments. 

Growing is painful...but it's beautiful at the same time. What I am learning through this season in our lives is that I need to embrace the friends and family I have around me. Be vulnerable and not walk through this alone......

So ladies out there who are going through one of those "seasons" your not alone...you don't have to be alone...reach out, get some of those prayer warriors on your side the ones that hold you up when you feel like you can't do it anymore. 

Have your little crying moment and then stand on the word of God and know this is only part of your story! 

Jeremiah 29:11   

11 For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. 12 Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. 13 You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.