I know, it's a crazy and outrageous idea.
But I. AM. DONE.
I came to a realization awhile back that changed my entire outlook on parenting. I'd like to tell you about it.
Have you ever been out and about with your kiddies and become angry or shocked or embarrassed by their behavior...if your a mother absolutely you have.
Or when you are at home and you see negativity coming out of your kids or attitude and you just want to scream...and some times we do.
Yup my life.
My kids are the most wonderful people I know, they are kind and thoughtful and loving...but those little suckers get my temperature bowling on a daily basis.
I have been noticing lately actions and attitudes in my 6 year old lately that have really been frustrating me. The way he sees himself, the anxiety he carries around, the entitlement.
As I was praying about what the heck to do with this situation a revelation dropped right in my lap
We were driving somewhere...late for something, and my four year old just says mommy can I pray and he prayed for our drive that we could get there safely and fast whole following the rules.
I was so proud, I never told him to do that, he just did.
Then it hit me. I do that...that's something I do constantly is pray randomly through out my day. I have never asked the kids to do it but it's something I always do. That transferred over to my kids...
You've heard of the saying "do as I say, not as I do"
I realized that's often how I try to parent.
Even with out knowing it, I try to correct my children's behaviors by words and explanations and reason. More often then not they don't remember it, it doesn't stick and I have to remind them over and over and over.
But my kids don't learn from reasoning and explanations. My kids learn through imitating, copying, mimicking.
I've always know that you are your kids greatest influence, but it is so much more then that. Before they learn to become their own person and reason and thinking deeply they pretty much become direct products of you and your spouse.
I was thinking well I don't throw a huge tantrum in the store throwing myself down and rolling around... God nudged me and said you sure?
When something goes wrong or I don't get what I want I totally throw my own grown up tantrum..it may not look like a kids tantrum but that's because I've learned to control my anger, where they haven't. Buuuuuuut they see me complaining either in the store or to my husband or even to my self in the car after and they mimic...they learn to handle anger and situations like I do with their own kid spin.
Realizing things like this has made me say I'm stopping lecturing and nagging at them to change their behaviors. They aren't the ones that need to learn...I am.
The more I correct the behaviors I see in them that I don't like in my self, things change. Things stick.
Once again the Lord has proved that everything he does is to help me grow, correct my character, push me closer to him.
Refining myself sets my children up for success. Learning to deal with anger better sets my children up to come out on top. Every word, every emotion, ever action shapes the foundation of who my children will be.
I am their mother and at the young age of 6, 4 and 1, they are a direct product of my character.
I am a mother. Who desperately leans on the grace of God to even breathe. The calling he has put on parents is one that demands nothing less.
But as I start on my new journey of parenting I have made a rule that I plan to live by. I will never correct my kids actions unless those very actions I am correcting in myself.
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